


Cold Skin and Burning Minds

by comets_nix



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Fear of fire, M/M, Panic Attack, Trauma, major PTSD, warrens recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 12:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9820433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comets_nix/pseuds/comets_nix
Summary: Warren is recovering from his time with Apocalypse at the mansion, but some memories simply won't leave him alone or let go.





	1. Chapter 1

Warren will never forget the jet.  
It will stick with him for the rest of his life, and he knows it.  
Ever since he was awoken deep in the mansion on a comfy bed wrapped like a mummy, the nightmares and dream terrors have haunted him in the back basement of his mind each night when he closes his eyes.  
Some nights, Warren can still feel his skin peeling off in in a melting ooze that bubbled and popped until it cooked away and left him open and broken in a bloody mess. There are nights when his body still aches and itches at the pushing memories that refuse to leave him alone to heal.  
He used to wake up screaming and flailing in bed until Hank or Kurt would rush in and hold him down- reminding him where he is as they pet his hair back until his broken wings and sore hands could relax again. Warren would bite his tongue trying to keep the cries back and make the tears stop, but he always caved in and curled up on himself with a racing heart and swollen skin under the kind touches.  
It’s as if his body has forgotten what cold is.  
His temperature is too high, his heart is too fast, his cheeks heat under the wraps as the wounds heal and scar forever in a lumpy mess of past burns.  
It takes three months for Warren to be able the screams and cries subconsciously; keep them inside his head while his mind burns and replays his dreaded death all over again.  
Over the course of the few months he’d been living with these surprisingly kind mutants, Warren is eventually able to push the nightmares away from his waking life. They are still there- he can feel them if he thinks about it too hard- and Warren is scared they will never leave.  
 _‘I’m ruined…’  
'No you are not.’  
'You don’t get it… It’s like I’m still burning in hell and it won’t just fucking let go. I can still FEEL it…’  
'I may not know how you feel, but I know vhat it is like to hurt. You will get better, I can promise you zhat.’  
'Am I gonna be like this forever?’  
'No Engel.’_  
It takes one more month for Warren to laugh again.  
It hurts- his face is still tight and new as the fresh skin adjusts to the cold wind of life again- but it’s there.  
He giggles and gasps a choked laugh at something stupid Scott had said. He’s not even sure if he could remember it, how pointless it was. But Warren opened his mouth and his brain took over before he could properly think- and before he knew it, he was laughing with tears in his eyes as he gripped his cheek at the hilarious pain.  
Warren had forgotten what that felt like.  
True joy. Actual happiness.  
He can’t remember the last time his chest heaved and his eyes watered from something that was _good_ rather than evil.  
It feels amazing.  
So Warren warms up to the X-Kids, and just a week after his spurt of laughter, he is following them everywhere in a silent 'thank you’ for what they have shown him again.  
His scars hurt, and Warren thinks they always will. But with the team around him and his heart a little lighter, it’s suddenly not so bad anymore.  
***  
Fall came and settled over New York in a gorgeous wave of warms colors and cold wind. Warren had woken up in amazement one day in late October when the trees had begun to change; forgetting how pretty the season could be up there.  
He is shy about it at first, only choosing to head outside and roll in the leaves like a child when the sun fell and everyone was asleep. It was freezing in the night so late in the year before the first snowfall, and it was too dark to see any of the bright colors, but Warren fell to the ground and swam in the mounds of past leaf piles made by the students that day happier than ever.  
Warren hadn’t been so joyous in years. He can’t remember the last time he had let himself outside to just play in the amazement that was fall like anyone else.  
The team knew, of course, but they didn’t say anything.  
Warren was just healing- finding that last piece of humanity in him that he had lost so long ago along the way.  
 _'Leave him be. Who cares if he goes to bed dirty and stays up too late. If taking part in children’s activities is something Warren needs to do to find himself again, then so be it.’_  
The X-Kids suddenly realize that Warren is a lot more shy and fragile than they first thought.  
So maybe they plan something simple just for a calm night of the last warm week; something like a bonfire.  
 _“Kurt, you ask him. He won’t say no to you.”_  
***  
Warren agrees to the blue boys puppy-begging request, and before the angel knows it, he is down in the dark yard of the cold night with the team that evening.  
Did he agree to this?  
What the hell is he doing? Something _normal?_  
It feels nice, Warren must admit. Just them- him and the team- sitting in a cozy circle under the stars just like anyone else on earth. He is next to Kurt, and the teleporter is sure to drag his tail just a bit every now and then over the angels leg to keep the winged mutant aware that he is still seen.  
Warren appreciates it. It keeps his mind locked away just enough to be able to enjoy himself for a little while. Its a simple motion, Kurt might not even realize he’s still doing it, but it grounds Warren.  
He wants to say thank you- to all of them- but remains quiet. The night is good, his wings don’t hurt, the others laughs aren’t as annoying as he thought, and the sky suddenly isn’t as pushing. Warren is comfortable, warm and safe with the large mansion on one side, and his friends on the other.  
He didn’t expect there to be fire, however.  
The words 'bonfire’ hadn’t seemed to fully reach his brain when Kurt had come to him earlier. Warren watched an hour in after the sun went down and he had made himself comfortable as he sat quietly and let the gang drone on, as Scott made a carefully designed pile of wood and paper in the metal ring and pulled out a lighter.  
It wasn’t so bad at first. Warren stared as the tiny flame caught on the edge of some cardboard, and gradually spread and grew easily and silently.  
 _Explosions didn’t have that, did they? Gentle flames?_ It was nice, almost… Warren had forgotten that fire could be slow.  
The gang didn’t notice his wide eyes as the fire grew and crackled as it took hold of the dry wood, and continued on their loud discussions and jokes.  
Warren was okay- _this is fine. The team knows what they are doing. It’s not that big anyway. He can relax. It’s far enough away, don’t freak out._  
But soon the flames grew more and more, and Warrens eyes locked on pile of burning wood with more tension. He wanted to scoot back, move his chair just a few more inches away, but stayed frozen. Everyone else was sitting comfortably the four feet away from the ring, and Warren knew they would notice if he suddenly inched back.  
 _They were on cement- it’d be too loud. He hadn’t moved all night, he can’t just get up now. No one else is worried, why should he be!?_  
Jean was too busy arguing about something pointless with Ororo to notice Warrens growing unease, and the angel stayed stock still as the flames popped and let out sparks.  
 _Was it supposed to get this big? Is that normal? Why are there so many sparks!?_  
“Alright, I’m cold,” Scott words and sudden motion to stand up make Warren jump and inch, and the angel avoids their eyes on him as he sinks a little back into his chair. He is glad they say nothing and move on, but he can feel both Kurt and Jean examine him a little more closely than the others.  
Scott walks off somewhere- Warren doesn’t care where to- and the angel focuses back on the small flames.  
 _He is FINE, just fucking relax already._  
It takes around one minute for Warren to ease his tension. Kurts tail continues on grazing his leg every now and then, but now the spade lingers a second longer. It helps Warren immensely, but he won’t say it. He keeps quiet, and his heart rate slows again with each second the fire grows smaller.  
 _He is okay, they wouldn’t hurt him like that._  
Scott arrives back out of the shadows suddenly with a large red container, and sets it down close to Warren.  
“Scott, be careful, please,” Jean sighs in annoyance, and things begin to click into place for Warren as Scott mocks her and opens the yellow nozzle.  
He knows what that is. The stench hits him like a wall when Scott opens the lid. He hears the liquid inside as the leader lifts the heavy container up and moves towards the fire.  
Now Warren scoots his chair back a foot, and the team looks towards him at the sound.  
Scott pays no attention to Warrens sudden statue-like state and frozen wings, and dumps a bit of the gasoline on the flames.  
They only grow big for a split second, and Warren closes his eyes.  
They die down right after, and the angel can feel his heart beating against his ribs when the fire returns to it’s normal state again.  
“Scott, that’s not enough dude!” Jubilee giggles with Ororo, and the leader whines a defense.  
Jeans eyes are on Warren as the winged mutant stares openly at Scott in a fixed horror, but just as the telekinetic opens her mouth to warn their leader as he scoots back, Scott tosses a heavy dose of gas into the flames.  
The fire explodes as the flames grow in a rush and the wood pops with a rain of sparks; the light of it growing and warming the team in an instant. The gang laughs as the fire roars up in a whistling wind of combustion- proud of themselves and happy at the new found heat.  
Warren, however, feels his eyes go black. His mind lets loose, and suddenly all he can see and feel when the fire combusts is the deafening explosion of the heavy jet. It’s too hot. It’s too bright. It’s too _close. Where is he!? What just happened!?_ Warren can’t think as his reality is stolen, and the flashbacks of that day drown his mind and senses in a fiery hurricane of pain and melting skin.  
He is out of his seat before the X-Kids can react, and falls backwards heavily to the ground as his chair flips and his wings snap open.  
Warren gasps and covers his eyes as he desperately scrambles back on the ground, and stops suddenly when he feels the wet press of grass beneath him and the cold weight of the night air.  
 _Breath, Warren._  
He curls in on himself as he hears the shocked gasps of the team as they rush towards him, but stays on the damp ground as he presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and grips the bangs of his hair.  
The burns are there again- his clothes are suffocating as they feel like they are on fire with the rest of him. His chest is melting, his eyes are blinded, his brain is popping and sizzling as his cheek boils and his wings rip off.  
He shouldn’t be here, he never should have come. He shouldn’t of have gotten so comfortable, why did he think he could-  
 _“Varren!”_  
Kurt's hand is on him now, a cold weight against his burning shoulder.  
 _Where is he?_  
The teleporter somehow makes it through to Warrens mind, and the images of death and dying begin to fade out in a racing beat from the angels head.  
 _What is he doing?_  
The team is silent as Kurt, Jean, and Ororo crouch down next to Warren. The angel feels the earth beneath him again. Kurts hand loosens it’s grip. His lungs come back as he finds his breath. Warrens mind stops its spinning, and he is suddenly grounded and still. He isn’t falling- hes frozen. His skin isn’t hot- it’s _freezing._  
There he is.  
 _“Varren,”_ Kurts words are a breathy whisper, as if he was crying. Warren doesn’t move his hands from his eyes, and keeps them pressed tightly to his face to hide them and the scars.  
He feels tears burn behind his eyelids, and his arms and wings tremble with how tense they are. Warren bares his teeth in a forced attempt to keep his sobs back, and he tries to focus on the darkness behind his palms. _What has he done?_ He just embarrassed himself in front of everyone- he just showed them how weak he still is. How _pathetic_ he must seem.  
“Warren,” It’s Jean now, and Warren can’t contain the tears any longer as they spill and trail down his ruined skin to gather at his neck in a wet line. He gasps for breath and and moans a cry as his body suddenly feels terribly small, and his ears heat at the embarrassment of himself.  
“Warren, it’s okay…” Ororo's voice is smooth and gentle above Warrens head, and the angel feels her hand on him too.  
Gentle circles are rubbed into his skin and the thick material of his hoodie, and suddenly Warren is too tired.  
His cries die down as the team is silent, and now all Warren can see is the darkness behind his hands and closed eyes. All he can feel is the heavy planet under him and the soothing hands against his back and shoulder. All he can hear is his own ragged breath and the crackling fire in the distance.  
And now he is angry.  
Angry at himself for what he has done and how he must look.  
Warren can’t move now, and stays in a tight, silent, tense ball. He wishes he could disappear like Kurt and never show his face again- go up to his room to hate himself and stay away forever. He can’t believe what just happened, and Warren digs his nails into his head as his mind grows heavy and foggy.  
Jean knows what is happening this time, and looks at Kurt. She nods her head towards the mansion with sad frown, and the teleporter understands immediately.  
“Varren, come vith me, please,” He is firm with his hushed words, and has to take Warrens arm and drag him a few inches.  
The angel stays still and tense as Kurt moves him, but its forced to sit up as the blue mutant manages and arm around his shoulders and lifts his chest and head.  
Warren gets up on shaky legs, his hands still tightly over his eyes, and Kurt has to steady him as they stand.  
“I-I’m taking you to your room,” Kurt whispers right next to him, and gives the team one last quick, sad look before they nod and he's off.  
They arrive in Warrens dark room in a split second, and the angel quickly leaves Kurts arms to fall into his bed. He climbs under the covers, his thick boots still on, and hides his face in the pillow as he grips it and faces away from Kurt.  
Warren breaths shakily, and Kurt can feel his anger, fear, and frustration radiating off of him.  
The blue mutant stands awkwardly for a moment while Warren silently sobs, face still hidden, and frowns as his own heart aches for the angel.  
He moves to gently sit on the edge of Warrens bed next to him, and sways his tail slowly to rest over the angels waist.  
 _“I’m sorry…”_ Kurt speaks nearly too quiet for them to hear, but it reaches just enough over Warrens snotty breaths. _“We-e should have seen it, or at least known…”_ He sucks in, and bites his lip when Warren falls silent and stays facing away. The angel turns his head and inch, and Kurt can now see the glowing blue of his eyes as they glisten in the poor light.  
 _“They’re gonna tell everyone now…”_ His voice is gravel on the smooth marble that is the silence of the room, and Kurt shakes his head.  
“No, no zhey won’t, I’ll make sure of it, don’t worry,” He whispers frantically, and now leans forward a bit to give Warren a reassuring look and touch to the shoulder. The angel stays still and quiet as Kurt looks hopefully down at him, and closes his eyes again.  
He turns his head to hide his face again, but now breaths quietly with only slight sniffles here and there. Kurt waits a moment more, but knows he is done.  
 _“Here,”_ He says softly, and gets up to gently take Warrens feet. The angel lets him push the covers aside, and lift his heavy legs to untie his tall boots- the teleporter pulling them off and tossing them to the floor.  
Kurt then sets Warrens cold feet back on the mattress, and tucks them under the blankets again.  
He stands for a second, watching Warren breath slowly as his anger burns out into exhausting tiredness. Kurt opens his mouth to say more, but shuts it just as fast.  
With one last look to the angel- seeing his heavy wings drape over the bed and onto the floor in exhaustion- he bamfs out and back to the fire.  
 _Warren was okay. Warren had safety._  
He might not realize it yet- it’s hard to find and hard to keep- but he did.  
It will just take some more time. A little more care. A little more love. They would find bumps and cuts in the road along the way, but slowly and surely, Warren would be alright again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked- what would happen the next day then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (short :/)

Warren hadn’t woken up until what must have been past noon the next day- judging by the sun shining brightly into his room.  
The events from last night didn’t fill his mind until a few seconds had past, and Warren’s heart raced and heated with embarrassment and angering fear at the memories.  
He groaned a quiet sigh as he rolled over, and felt himself still in his tight clothes from last night as he moved and stretched- his wings heavy with sleep.  
His bed was a mess, but Warren didn’t pay attention as he tried focusing on nothing.  
His head had a dull ache, and the button of his jeans had indented an itchy mark into his skin as he suddenly moved after what felt like years of a motionless sleep. Warren felt heavy and gross, but finally managed to push himself up and off the bed with a dizzying breath.  
It wasn’t until he was in the bathroom that he remembered Kurt.  
Kurt- and how the blue boy had been the one to hold and comfort Warren as if he was a child during his freak out panic attack.  
 _Well what now!?_  
What would Kurt think of him!? What would the _others_ think of him!? Warren’s head and chest twisted opposite directions as the angel undressed and showered; slow and unhappily as he thought over the night.  
 _“Fuck…”_ was the first word out of his mouth in a hissed whisper as he stepped out of the water nearly a full hour later. He checked the clock across the room, and was surprised to see it read only 1:00 PM.  
Lunch was still going on, and if Warren hurried, he could catch the last few minutes of it with the gang.  
But… he couldn’t tell if he exactly wanted to face them after such a horrible night.  
 _Why had he been so weak!?_  
Warren’s stomach growling interrupted his hating thoughts, and the angel sighed in defeat as he slipped his shoes on and began his way down the hall.  
Warren kept his head low and avoiding others gazes as he walked at a steady pace, and only lifted his eyes when the loud noises of the dinning hall filled his ears.  
He entered to the usual chaos of the students, and quickly picked out the X Kids at their usual table.  
Warren made his way over to them with his head still hung low, and said nothing when he sat silently between Ororo and Kurt.  
“Varren! Where have you been all day!?” Kurt giggled as he greeted him happily, and Warren angled his head towards the boy.  
“Sleeping.” He mumbled, and kept his gaze on the empty space on table in front of him; feeling the others study him with concern.   
“You okay?” Scott spoke first, unsure.  
 _“Fine.”_ Warren shrugged and held his breath. He could only imagine how awful he must look- he felt like shit as his head ached and his hair sat wet and matted- Warren not bothering to brush it after his shower.  
“You…. sure? You’re probably hungry, I mean-” Peter said, but Warren cut him off.  
 _“I’ll get food if I want it.”_ He quietly snapped, and hung his head a bit lower add he rested his scared cheek in his hand.  
Warren felt exposed and unwanted- as if he didn’t belong and brought nothing to the table besides bad memories and regret. He tried swallowing the lump in his throat, but failed and only succeeded in allowing singing tears to fill the back of his eyes.  
“Warren, it’s okay you know-” Jean must have heard his angry thoughts, and by now the whole team was watching him with sad eyes. Warren sighed with embarrassment and frustration, and turned to quickly leave- unable to sit there any longer- but was stopped when Kurt’s tail gently moved to his shoulder; easily holding him in place with just enough strength to not be threatening. Warren paused, and looked down at the spade with blurry eyes. His lip quivered, and he didn’t turn back around, with the fear of them seeing him so weak and worked up yet again.  
 _“Please let me go-”_ he finally whispered in a heavy and cracked voice, and Kurt sighed quietly; removing his tail slowly.  
Warren stood and walked quickly, making his way towards the door.  
He didn’t turn back, but was thankful that Jean stayed out of his mind and let him go. A tear fell from his eye in the wind if his moments, but Warren quickly wiped it away before opening the door to his room and shutting it right away again.  
He deflated as he fell down on his bed; burying his face in the pillow. _Warren couldn’t go back down there- not yet._ He just needed another day to get his mind straight and organized, or else he’d have a melt down again. That was too close this time, so he let himself cry into his pillow for now; hoping for the tug of sleep to take over and let him rest just a bit more.


End file.
